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2019 | The Reason I'm Not Making Any Resolutions, and the 4 Things I AM Doing

by - Sunday, January 13, 2019

So, resolutions. 'A new year, a new me.'
All those broken promises of gym visits, healthier eating, making more time for this, that and the other... They all sound pretty fantastic until you either slip up or stop completely and as a result feel desperately disappointed in yourself for failing. Well, of course you've failed - because the goals you've set aren't realistic to your personal situation. To be honest, I think they hardly ever are. I could make a resolution to change certain things and to add tasks into my routine - but unless it's a priority to me, and genuinely what I want to achieve, I won't keep up with it. Because it's not relevant to my personal situation.

The only resolution I'm making is to not make any resolutions.  Because in my experience, resolutions only ever last a couple of weeks or a month or so - and then you feel terribly guilty because you have 'let yourself down.'

No, resolutions aren't the ticket to mental wellbeing. Instead, I'm going to talk about my thoughts for the coming year - and I'm keeping them simple.

1. Don't sweat the big stuff

We all talk about not sweating the little stuff - and I've been working hard over the past year to get to the stage where those little things just don't get to me. OK, so I have my moments occasionally but more often than not nowadays, I do my best to take things in my stride and not get in a flap just because some plans change at the last minute or something doesn't quite work out how I thought it might.

What my first thought for 2019 is - let's not sweat the big stuff either. This is something I'm not so good at doing, so it'll take a lot of reprogramming. But I know that taking away the huge question marks that I find constantly hanging over my head will be the best thing I ever did for myself. It'll take some work, but hopefully I'll be sitting here in a year's time writing a similar paragraph to the one above and no longer worrying about the ifs, the hows, and the whens.

2. Do keep sweating

The gym isn't for everyone. And on countless New Year's Days, I've sat and decided 'I'm going to get fit and healthy this year' for it to all come crumbling down around me and that ridiculous sense of guilt setting in like concrete. I wasn't into fitness all those years - so why on earth was I setting myself up with a goal that I knew I wasn't going to meet!?

But ever since summer of 2018, I have got into fitness and (2013 me if you're reading this, you might want to sit down...) I can hand-on-heart say, I love the gym. It's come into my life at the perfect time and it is the best stress relieving, self-esteem boosting me-time I've ever found. I work out when I want to, I don't stress about it if I don't (but I do miss it) and taking classes like yoga has really allowed me to connect with body, mind and soul - and as a result, find a much happier me. 

3. Keep creating

Creating beauty, creating fun, creating memories. Whatever the word creativity means to you - embrace it and enjoy it. Don't feel pressured because you didn't finish that craft project, because you never quite got around to launching your online shop or because you never finished a plan or intention.

Create HAPPINESS. Not fear, not stress, not guilt. Live for what you believe in, what you want to do and what makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I'd love to say that I'll get more prints up in my Etsy shop this year, or that I'll do more projects at home, but to be honest, all I'm going to ask of myself is to create the kind of happiness that brings a sense of freedom and relaxation.

4. Stop comparing

Stop comparing yourself to others. To where they are in their lives now; to where you thought you might be today. What's meant for you will not pass you by. Everyone is on their own journey in life. 

Yes, there'll be a fair few moments that I'll need to repeat these to myself at times when it doesn't feel as true - but as a general rule I really want to make this a part of my natural way of thinking. We are all walking a different path in life, and we need to make of it what we will. We can spend a year worrying and stressing about the things that haven't been, but we'll waste a year in doing so. A year where we could have been learning, exploring, traveling, creating, giving... If it's meant for us, it won't pass us by - therefore lets enjoy the time in between and let go of the negative focus.

So simply...

Be the very best that you can be.
Can being the important part. Do what you can and always aim high, but don't give yourself a hard time if you have an off day or struggle to achieve a target. Open up expectations. Don't lower them - open them up to more possibilities, more ideas, different outcomes. 

Work hard, take care of yourself, forgive more, achieve more, but mostly, stand back and appreciate what you've already achieved. Stop focusing entirely on where you want to be; pull up a seat and look back at how far you've come, how much you've already achieved and how that's all made you feel. Remember when you wanted what you currently have. Because I bet you what you like, it's pretty bloody fantastic and you made it all happen.

Happy 2019 everybody. I wish you the happiest of years with the very happiest of yous.

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